i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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