I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
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I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
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My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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