those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
