Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
