If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
