There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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