Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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