She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Why is there bacon in the couch?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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