after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
