I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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