So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize