Need sex. Gaining weight.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
