Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
