SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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