there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
