Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
there is glitter all over my balls
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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