she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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