they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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