Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
