Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
