Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
