I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
a search helicopter?!
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
