Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
