dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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