I'm eating all of the evidence.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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