chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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