the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
