I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
