Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!