i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!