I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
