Barsexuality is the new black.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?