Texts From Last Night

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  (740): View more from Ohio

  ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.

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  (740): ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days. http://tfl.nu/z4ue
  Replies (56) Good night (5762) Bad night (1167)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music

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  (440): You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music http://tfl.nu/f2pv
  Replies (49) Good night (18443) Bad night (1673)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.

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  (254): Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me. http://tfl.nu/nie2
  Replies (9) Good night (3990) Bad night (1070)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him

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  (203): apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him http://tfl.nu/3qi4
  Replies (9) Good night (1110) Bad night (3952)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  You're like the curious george of whores

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  (512): You're like the curious george of whores http://tfl.nu/l01l
  Replies (5) Good night (3652) Bad night (916)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.

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  (434): we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino. http://tfl.nu/w9ni
  Replies (3) Good night (2983) Bad night (1209)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....

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  (701): Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of..... http://tfl.nu/svr5
  Replies (6) Good night (830) Bad night (2978)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.

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  (402): I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign. http://tfl.nu/14vr
  Replies (1) Good night (1923) Bad night (854)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.

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  (469): on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers. http://tfl.nu/kub0
  Replies (3) Good night (2308) Bad night (969)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses

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  (303): I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses http://tfl.nu/zlmy
  Replies (8) Good night (1735) Bad night (899)
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  (845): View more from New York

  There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets

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  (845): There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets http://tfl.nu/ibjg
  Replies (6) Good night (743) Bad night (441)
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  (518): View more from New York

  We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential

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  (518): We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential http://tfl.nu/2oz5
  Replies (1) Good night (389) Bad night (312)
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  (914): View more from New York

  They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border

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  (914): They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border http://tfl.nu/ra2t
  Replies (0) Good night (660) Bad night (440)
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  (390): View more from

  She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.

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  (390): She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it. http://tfl.nu/hfa4
  Replies (0) Good night (400) Bad night (217)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good

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  (630): And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good http://tfl.nu/vo3g
  Replies (1) Good night (366) Bad night (172)

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