brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.