Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge

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  (704): I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge http://tfl.nu/naaa
  Replies (21) Good night (6932) Bad night (625)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.

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  (802): I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase. http://tfl.nu/kajo
  Replies (22) Good night (6527) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest

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  (732): just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest http://tfl.nu/tjgh
  Replies (13) Good night (4326) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.

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  (760): Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule. http://tfl.nu/62pd
  Replies (24) Good night (1393) Bad night (4331)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.

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  (479): Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band. http://tfl.nu/kt6h
  Replies (3) Good night (2667) Bad night (1143)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.

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  (519): That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked. http://tfl.nu/ff8s
  Replies (9) Good night (762) Bad night (2572)
• Favorite

  (819): View more from Quebec

  there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive

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  (819): there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive http://tfl.nu/f5fj
  Replies (3) Good night (2757) Bad night (883)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.

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  (404): she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it. http://tfl.nu/n6h2
  Replies (18) Good night (3717) Bad night (1235)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.

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  (410): So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie. http://tfl.nu/7rxk
  Replies (13) Good night (1620) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.

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  (+61): The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals. http://tfl.nu/0gao
  Replies (0) Good night (775) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts

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  (203): i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts http://tfl.nu/1fmb
  Replies (0) Good night (423) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?

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  (719): Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night? http://tfl.nu/cfrc
  Replies (1) Good night (482) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.

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  (+44): The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead. http://tfl.nu/d3l5
  Replies (1) Good night (1028) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"

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  (814): She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!" http://tfl.nu/xir9
  Replies (2) Good night (989) Bad night (232)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.

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  (814): I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had. http://tfl.nu/5qob
  Replies (3) Good night (282) Bad night (1059)

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