i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
