dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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