Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
