you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
