Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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