i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
