So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
