Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
