I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
