GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I wish there were birth control emojis
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
