He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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