I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
