He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
