i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
