Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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