my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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