Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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