I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
