my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
