I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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