she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
