I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
