I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Will exercising make me less horny?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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