idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Randomize
