I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Jerry, you need to find god
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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