why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
do herpes really smell.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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