he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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