But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
