you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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