brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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