life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize