marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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