Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
