I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i came on her dog
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
